Qui és el meu amic?

Hola amics!

Over the past two days, Derek and I have been conducting interviews with the Wells family and some of their close Catalan friends. As such we've stayed based here in Santa Coloma, doing a great deal of brainstorming, planning and editing. Below are a few stills from the videos we've taken across the past two days, to give a brief example of what we've been doing. Folks at Chantilly Bible will soon see part of the fruits of our labors in the form of an update video this Sunday. I'll post it here on the blog after people at church have had a chance to see it.





Even though our primary work has been mostly focused around tripods, lights and computers, we've also had the opportunity to meet and spend time in the company of several of the Wells' good friends. Among them, we had the pleasure of sharing a delicious Catalan-length meal with Josep and Maria. The couple are unique among Catalan people: they have had the opportunity to do an extensive amount of travel around Europe and the United States. We asked Josef to share some insights into his culture and how it differs from our own back in the States. He gladly obliged and, offering a winning smile, began to speak.

Josef explained that the Catalan people are a much more cautious and guarded group. This stance has been earned over centuries of abuse and marginalization. Catalans have been persecuted by the Catholic church for supposed heresy, invaded by the Moors and used as target practice by Francisco Franco. At several points in Spanish history, the Catalan language has been banned and Catalan culture suppressed with threat of punishment. People who the Catalan considered their friends have turned on them in the past, with the result being death in the most extreme cases in history. As such, even now, Catalans remain very skeptical and careful of new people trying to build friendships, especially outsiders. It takes years of trust reinforced by action to earn the friendship of a Catalan. And until the time where a deep and rich relationship has been formed, personal matters, especially when it comes to belief systems and faith, are not shared. In fact, the openness of Western cultures, in particular that of many Americans, is incredibly off-putting and potentially offensive. As Josef put it, "I don't know you and you are already telling me the problems of your family and what you believe. And you expect me to do the same? How can I trust you when I have only just met you? How do I know you will not betray my confidence?"

However, once a solid friendship has been established with one from Catalunya, you have made a friend for life. As Catalans are so guarded, they generally have a smaller group of friends than most Americans. Those who they do count friends, however, are treated as family. "We are a very loyal people; we wish to maintain our friendship no matter what happens to you or where you go." In this, we encounter another major difference between the way Western cultures regard relationships; for us, friendships can often be short-term and transitory, especially those formed and maintained over long distances. Josef mentioned many times when he had been disappointed by friendships with Americans. "You talk back and forth for a while, but soon you find you are talking to yourself. They stop responding and have abandoned you."

There are also differences in where and how people choose to live. "Many Catalans live only meters from where they are born and where they will die. My brothers are only 10 minutes away and my wife's parents are 5 minutes away. Families stick closer together in Catalunya." Many people in Catalunya also train for one profession and remain in it for the duration of their lives. Education past 10th grade is engineered to prepare a person to perform in their field of choice. Changing professions or concentrations in school is rare and, when it is does occur, is incredibly difficult to accomplish. Great changes, in both living location and profession/school concentration, are much more common in our society. Many families in the States move every few years, sometimes leaving their previous state completely behind them. I am a testament to change in study focus since I switched to computer science from chemistry halfway through my college career. Change is hardwired into our society and revered so much that those who stay in or around their hometowns are referred to in derogatory ways, such as "townies."

So, how do you approach a culture that is mostly closed towards outsiders and unwilling to discuss deep matters without a secure and storied personal history with them? "Take an interest in what other Catalans are doing, in their history, in their language. Spend quality time with them, show them that you are also normal people. Or meet them through old friends. It will take time, much time. But it is worth it in the end." As Josef shared these things, I was reminded that we are to reach out to others and meet them where they are, doing our best to engage them in their own culture, in their own language, in their own way. I thought of I Corinthians 9:19-23 where Paul describes how we have the freedom to connect with divergent cultures in Christ:

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

Having discussed the nature of Catalan relationships with Josef, I now have a greater understanding of the challenges that the Wells have faced over the years that they have spent here in Catalunya. Spending time with Josef, Maria and the Wells has also demonstrated just how cherished the friendships that they've built have become: it's very clear that they care for each other deeply as they would family. In fact, I came to find out that both parties have met each others' families over the course of their long relationship. It was really amazing to witness and a blessing to be able to share, by association, in the richness of their friendship.

After we had finished talking, Josef and Maria got up to leave. As he left, we exchanged contact information. I invited him to come and visit Alexandria and the DC area the next time he and Maria made the trip over to the US. He laughed, "Be careful what you promise. One day I will ring your bell and be standing at your door!" I certainly hope he's right; I would love the chance to know this Catalan man much better.